Exercise

Exercise Jokes

Walk

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

Date

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

Skinny

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

App

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Toe

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

Leg day

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

Split

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Car

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

Pacer Test

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

Diabetes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.

No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.

Orphan

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

Health

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

Gym

Why did the gym close?

It's because it just never worked out.

Grandpa

When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.