Everyone jokes

Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.

What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?

Drumsticks for everyone!

Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!

Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

I just went to a Halloween party for rappers and rap DJs from the Czech Republic, and everyone was dressed in the same costume! I couldn't tell which witch was Wich!

Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?

As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...

Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"

Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green."

"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

"Get out of my store you grigger!"

"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

Hi everyone that is mean to freshfry, Addison Banks, Drew, watersharky, Gwen, and jk master, fucking get off this site, bullies! I love everyone here except the bullies!

Why did the rapper become a barber?

To give everyone FRESH CUTS.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Everyone is autistic midgets.

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"