A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because everyone played Simon Says!
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz it’s between 9/11.
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
