Everyone jokes
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
Everyone remembers it! :)
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.