Everyone jokes
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To give everyone FRESH CUTS.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.