Everyone jokes
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Everyone stop making 9/11 jokes; they just don't fly.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
What is everyone’s favorite class?
None, because people don’t like school.
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.