Evers jokes

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

Why are these jokes bad?

They're literally the worst jokes ever.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?

$2 billion and high cholesterol.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

Two of the worst jokes ever.

A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Don't worry, neither have they.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

People joking about 9/11.

Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."

Oh.

"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"

Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.