Event jokes
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!