Ethics jokes
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.