Ethics jokes

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.

My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.

Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

Jesus said to like your enemies.

Yay, I can like drugs then!

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?

Genocide is racist.