Ethics jokes

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

So, I met a boy, and he said he would be happy to be a cannibal because if we all were, we could stop overpopulation and world hunger. And I was like 😍😍😍😍🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

What is the best type of girl to fuck?

Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.

Bored?

Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

Why?

They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.

Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?

Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.

Orphan: Why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

Why do white people own a lot of pets?

Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?

They can’t say no.

What’s the difference between chocolate and people?

You can’t buy people nowadays.

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I figure it's ok to hit orphans.

What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."