What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."
Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."
Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."
WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
