Environment jokes
I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.
I wasn't clean after this.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
Earth is full. Go home!
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?
A mountain!
hehehehehehehehehehe
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What is green and blue?
Grass and the sky.