Entertainment jokes
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What is an emo's favorite game?
To delete Cut the Rope.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
Memes
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
Gwen and Prince chat and talk and discuss; we won't bother you! Here! Enjoy!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
Why was the director injured?
He couldn't find the right cast!
His girls clapped, BTW. 😬
What is fun? Everyone.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?
Palpatine: Grew it.