Entertainment jokes

This is the biggest joke ever - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5j-BH_WdBXdzeoOdG2v2dA

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

aiegwrbguiwgukabr dQIUGEV8913680 C24902476834V 7 2[339 TV`

I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.

I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

Gun + Backpack = Fun!

Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!

Watching porn.

Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.

A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?

Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?

"Now sashimi, now you don't!"

Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

Your mum's so dumb, she thought Pornhub was a corn hub!

Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.

Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.

Patrick: *picks up nuke*

Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!

Patrick: Yes.

Nuke: *boom*

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

He had no body to go with.

Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?

To sing.