Entertainment jokes

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

Wanna know something funny?

Me, because I'm funny looking.

What's an emo's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!

Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?

He made the cut.

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!

What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”

That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♂️.

Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.

Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.

No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.

Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?

Cause they taste funny!

What's God's favorite Michael Jackson song? The Earth Song. 😍😍😍

I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!

Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠

Why the actual f

is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

Watched a really cool cartoon about rabbits with Down syndrome yesterday. You should try watching it on catch up... "Watership Down."

What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.

What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?

Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.

Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.