Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
I told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
What Pokemon is from the Avengers? Throh.
What Pokémon is always disappointed? Wynaut.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
