Entertainment jokes
I like strippers on me.
What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?
Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!
Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Magitat?
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.