When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!
I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Where would Batman get his freak on at? The Batcave or the bat strip club?
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
