Employee jokes

People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.

Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.