Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of jeff bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you and the mcdonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
I can't believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean... All I did was take a day off!
What do you call sex in the world trade center?
An inside job.
I got fired my first day at the bank this old lady told me to check her balance so I pushed her over
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco? Because every little bit helps
Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied!
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt. Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job. But just before the boss was going to hire him he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over the man screamed and jumped out the window. He didn't get the job
I'll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars? Little Seizures.
a man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs then he says to his boss, i cant handle all of this,.
McDonald's worker be like hello would you like a mc-dick(you looked down)you:uhh wheres my dick?
If I ever ran for public office. I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
I used to work for a company called 69, my friend took over my position.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
