Emotion jokes

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

A question: When is (my name) happy?

Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

Answer: Never, only a portion.

Friend: Do you need help?

He: "I love you."

Me: "I love myself too."

Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.

What do depressed people use for emotions online?

They use EMOjis.

Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*

Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^

Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*

Friend: You ok, man?

Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...

Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~

Worried I am dead.

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

I cry when I chop up onions.

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

I love myself.

I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop onions.

Adriano loves life.