Emo Jokes

Anonymous

What happens when you fail to be an emo you dont make the cut

Suk_deez_nuutz

What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees

Promididas

What did one emo kid say to the other I like ya cuts G

YT Toast4128
in Dark Humor

Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies. Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out. Wanna hear something that’s the worst? He comes back for seconds.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working Hit your wife harder

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender.

What’s the darkest point in the universe? The inside of a KFC

what is the most difficult day in the ghetto fathers day

How do Asians name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)

What do you call a white man in court?? SUPERIOR!!!

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks “did you get her number?”. He replies “no, but it’s okay, I’ll see her at the next family reunion”

What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady but couldn't stand up.

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech

how do you surprise a blind guy? leave the plunger in the toilet

Covid 19 stopped mass shooting faster than the Government

Want to know why parents don’t get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

a man asks a woman: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot When the school shooters finally leaves your class room but then the autistic kid next you sketchers light up

Don’t worry if you have a stroke You’ll be alright

What’s the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement? Baby Jesus died a virgin what is worst than a baby getting hanged in a tree that same baby getting hanged in multiple trees

So I texted my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: not again brother I’m only 8

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me

Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo Cutting-edge Technology

I’m starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

How do you win an argument against an emo? kick the chair.

What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.

if an emo doesn’t get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won’t be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

What’s an emo’s favorite Pink Floyd album? The Final Cut.

Why do emos like yo-yo’s? cos they get strangled by the string

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut so I said, “I like ya cut g.” And I slapped him. I don’t know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

What’s the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

How do emo’s compliment each other? They say " I like your cuts g"

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park? He kept cutting in line

What do you call an emo kids suicide live stream? America’s funniest home videos

what game do emo kids love the most… hangman

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays pumped up kicks

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler but missed. Then Adolf replied, “Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!”

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

Kid starts shooting people in school, and the teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

They named road after george floyd it was a dead end though

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

What do you call a blind racist? A not see

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

Q. What’s long, hard, and scary when you first see it? A. Calculus homework.

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow? A. Toothpaste.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle? Optimistic

I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn’t stand a chance against both of us

I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims

Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term struggle snuggle

You know what the worst thing about gang rape is? Having to wait your turn.

I gave an emo kid money He gave me the great depresson

The emo kid tried to give the tree high five but the tree left him hanging.

Dadd

How do you make a emo jump?

A bridge

Anonymous men

What is an emo's favourite movie? The suicide squad

Anonymous

What makes emos jump?

Bridges

Ilikemen123

If ypu were to drop an emo & a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first

The leaf cuz the emo is always hanging

Juicy
in Dark Humor

What goes down but not up.

An emo

the god of dark humor

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

People are like potatoes. We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.

Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? – Because the sign says No Tres passing.

What’s a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.

What’s a Mexicans favorite sport? Cross country.

Why do people not play uno with Mexicans… because they are always stealing the green cards

What do you call a Mexican and a pedofile fight? Alien vs Predator

What do you call a Mexican Baptism? Bean Dip

What’s a Mexicans favorite video game? Borderlands.

Friends are like boobs, some are big, some are small, some are real and some are fake.

Your hairline so far back I learned about it in history class

Your hairline so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there

Your hairline more bent than James Charles’ gender

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

your hairline is like the universe still waiting to be discovered

You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.

if I had a face like yours I would sue my parents

Everyone’s had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.

I got a ps5 for my brother, best trade i’ve ever made

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather , that is until my mom took the urn away from me

What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

Why are Orphans so bad at dodgeball Because no one misses them I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to “Hang in there.”

What game does an emo hate the most? Cut the Rope

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend As she saw it, she said "nevermind, just finger me"

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting, first America lost both of its towers but now England has lost its queen

queen elizabeth died a couple weeks ago im still trying to find the reboot card How do you know if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes funny. What’s worse than fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her. Why are emo jokes so infamous? They cut deep. Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore? Turns out it was just a phase. How many emos like anagrams? Some. What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans? Emold. What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader? They both dress in all black and none of them has a father. What do you call flat-chested emo? A cutting board. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares, let them cry in the dark. Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table? It was the Happy Meal. Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake. “Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?” Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.” How do you pull an emo from a tree? Cut the rope. What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn? They’re both white and flavourless. What do emo birds call their mouths? Bleaks. What do you call an obese emo teen? An edgelard. Recommended: Fat Jokes What do you call a gang of emo kids? Suicide Squad. How are cats and emos different from one another? The cat still has 8 other lives. Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms? They are playing Fruit Ninja. What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo? Sonic the Edgy hog. Why would the emo swallow a clock? So he could wake up inside. Why are Emos still around? Because the suffering never ends. What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony? You encourage them. What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer? A toaster. What is the favourite game of an emo? Hangman. Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo? So it could cut itself. A group of friends started an emo salsa band. They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco. What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza? Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.

the god of dark humor

Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies. Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out. Wanna hear something that’s the worst? He comes back for seconds.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working Hit your wife harder

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender.

What’s the darkest point in the universe? The inside of a KFC

what is the most difficult day in the ghetto fathers day

How do Asians name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)

What do you call a white man in court?? SUPERIOR!!!

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks “did you get her number?”. He replies “no, but it’s okay, I’ll see her at the next family reunion”

What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady but couldn't stand up.

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech

how do you surprise a blind guy? leave the plunger in the toilet

Covid 19 stopped mass shooting faster than the Government

Want to know why parents don’t get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

a man asks a woman: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot When the school shooters finally leaves your class room but then the autistic kid next you sketchers light up

Don’t worry if you have a stroke You’ll be alright

What’s the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement? Baby Jesus died a virgin what is worst than a baby getting hanged in a tree that same baby getting hanged in multiple trees

So I texted my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: not again brother I’m only 8

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me

Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo Cutting-edge Technology

I’m starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.

How do you win an argument against an emo? kick the chair.

What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.

if an emo doesn’t get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won’t be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

What’s an emo’s favorite Pink Floyd album? The Final Cut.

Why do emos like yo-yo’s? cos they get strangled by the string

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut so I said, “I like ya cut g.” And I slapped him. I don’t know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

What’s the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

How do emo’s compliment each other? They say " I like your cuts g"

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park? He kept cutting in line

What do you call an emo kids suicide live stream? America’s funniest home videos

what game do emo kids love the most… hangman

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays pumped up kicks

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler but missed. Then Adolf replied, “Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!”

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. “They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes.”

Kid starts shooting people in school, and the teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

They named road after george floyd it was a dead end though

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

What do you call a blind racist? A not see

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

Q. What’s long, hard, and scary when you first see it? A. Calculus homework.

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow? A. Toothpaste.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle? Optimistic

I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn’t stand a chance against both of us

I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims

Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term struggle snuggle

You know what the worst thing about gang rape is? Having to wait your turn.

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath? Men toes.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on

the god of dark humor

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere My family is like a treasure… You need a map and shovel to find them.

What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing “Who’s that Pokémon” next to all of the chalk outlines

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital? Reload and keep shooting

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

I’ve been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

How do you embarrass an archeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it’s from

Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs

“You’re da bomb!” “No, you’re da bomb!” In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

I saw an Isis video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, “soon, my brother.”

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit 14.

Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.

Would you like to try African food?? They would too.

School shooting happens Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk American student: “First time?”

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog. Asians

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident An amputation

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

what does a cannibal call a pregnant women, a kinder surprise egg.

What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers? Their ankles.

What do you call a drunk depressed man that skydives? Splattered.

What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars Children

My nickname should be night light…because kids turn me on…

what’s the difference between an onion and a baby? nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

How did stephen hawking die? He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall

my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying

What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor

My dads the oldest and when he was young he shot my grandpas balls off but I thought about it how does my dad have younger brothers

what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why do trees never call emo kids? The emos always hang up on them.

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground? Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope

Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up? Shut Up Sam, you’ve got cancer!

What’s the difference between a man and a table? The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs

I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies. Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out. Wanna hear something that’s the worst? He comes back for seconds.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working Hit your wife harder

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies? I don’t put fruit in a blender.

What’s the darkest point in the universe? The inside of a KFC

what is the most difficult day in the ghetto fathers day

How do Asians name their kids? They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)

What do you call a white man in court?? SUPERIOR!!!

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks “did you get her number?”. He replies “no, but it’s okay, I’ll see her at the next family reunion”

What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady but couldn't stand up.

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speec

HI MY NAME IS YOUR MOM
in Orphan

teacher: ok class what animal jumps the highest kid: a leopard quiet kid: no it's emo kids some of them are still in the air kid: broooooooooooo

Anonymous

What did one emo kid say to the other? Nice cuts G ( because they like to cut themselves)

Anonymous
in Orphan

what did one emo kid say to the other? Nice guts G

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Anonymous

Whats the difference between adolf hitler and usain bolt

Usain bolt finished the races