9/11 called for help what did that get nothing
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
what would happen if a dam broke when you are on it? You would be dam unlucky
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up? Kid 1: I want to be a fire fighter kid 2: I want to be a police officer kid 3: i want to be dead like both my parents Teacher: ok everyone pull out your books Kid 4: are we going to ignore what he said? Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
911 I JUST CRASHED MY CAR I THINK ITS BURNING I CAN'T SEE IT HURTS TO BREATHE
FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CANT BREATHE (I am Paul walker btw)
*COUGHS ROUGHLY* OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH I CANT SEE IT BURNS HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP *Weakly* !
why do 911 jokes always fail. they always crash and burn
Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy
why did the people in 9/11 not call 911 bc it would call the pilots.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
A Down child is drowning, he calls help with all of his voice:<<Somebody help me!! I'm Downing>>
BA DUM TSS
A catholic school is burning down, one of the priest says: 'SAVE THE CHILDREN, SAVE THEM', an another priest says: F*CK THE CHILDREN, we're gonna die!! The last priest is like: hmmm... do we have time?
Patient: where are you taking me, doctor? Doctor: the morgue Patient: hang on! I'm not dead yet! Doctor: and we're not there yet!
A plane is going to crash there are four passengers and only three parachutes. all the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first he says, my fans need me and jumps, Donald trump takes another and says I am the smartest president, jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute. The boy replies don't worry - Donald took my backpack.
i called the suicide hotline and he suggested i drew on myself to distract myself. i replied id get ink poisoning
wouldnt recommend the police came
i was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled " do you know CPR?" i replied "i know the entire alphabet!" we all laughed and laughed, well. except one person
Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'
