There are 4 people on a airplane and the pilot has a heart attack and dies the plane is going down and there are also only 3 parachutes so the guy who knows how to cure cancer says I’m jumping I can save many lives the the 46 president joe Biden says I’m take ing the 2 one so there is only one left Donald trump says to the 7 year old girl I have lived a long life u an take the next one so the little girl says that’s ok the 46 president took my back pack.lol
2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
9/11 911 same thing
A woman ran into a police station screeming "help i have bin graped" the policeman said "do you mean raped" the woman said "no the was a bunch of then".
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 9/1/1.
i was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled " do you know CPR?" i replied "i know the entire alphabet!" we all laughed and laughed, well. except one person
Patient: where are you taking me, doctor? Doctor: the morgue Patient: hang on! I'm not dead yet! Doctor: and we're not there yet!
Ok so one time a deaf kid got in to a car accident but he didnt herd in on the new
why do 911 jokes always fail. they always crash and burn
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire? Cuz he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
I hate when people make 911 jokes, im just blown away.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up? Kid 1: I want to be a fire fighter kid 2: I want to be a police officer kid 3: i want to be dead like both my parents Teacher: ok everyone pull out your books Kid 4: are we going to ignore what he said? Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
Why do I carry pepper spray? JUST IN CASE OF AS-SAULT.
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed help.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers? Hang in there.
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”
You here about the roman numeral hospital
All they have is IVs!
there's a kid with loads of new fire men equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kids asks the firemen come have a look at my new gear so the fire men go look at his gear so then the kid says kid: I've got a helmet a big jacket and a oxygen tank and a little wheel barrow for my gear
firemen says: why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls the kid says so I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
