Egg jokes
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!