Egg jokes
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
I think you're eggcellent!
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.