I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
i think your eggcellent
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road
He forgot his eggs
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
