Egg jokes
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
Eggs
You crack me up!
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."