Education jokes
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
A kid walks into the classroom on time.