Education jokes

Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?

You've got a lot of problems!

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Where do pedophiles go hunting?

Elementary schools.