Education jokes
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"
I fucking hate school, god damn!
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.
Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."
Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"
My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Why are my students so naughty?
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What brings kids to school every day?
A school bus 🚌.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.