What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. ๐คก๐
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, โPut a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.โ But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, โWell teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!โ
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! ๐คฌ
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isnโt working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
