Education

Education jokes

Helen Keller

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Grandma

My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."

Difference

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.

Day

One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”

Secret

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

Forehead

Teacher: This assignment is big.

Student (male): I have something that's big.

Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.

Girl

Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.

Gay

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.

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  • Teacher

    What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

    You can shut the book up.

    School

    Dad: What did you learn in school today?

    Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.

    Class

    What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

    The class divides.

    Math Teacher

    My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.

    Math book

    Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

    - The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...