Education jokes
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
What is 2+2? Fish.
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
Q: Why did the teacher die?
A: Because he hated his life.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?