Education jokes
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
What is 2+2? Fish.
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
Q: Why did the teacher die?
A: Because he hated his life.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."