What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Why is 8 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 ate 9.
York High School is the best school ever!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
