My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
Who is the smartest student in school?
The scholar.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
