Economy jokes
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.
Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.
A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.
In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.
He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.
So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
I charge 50 bucks a suck.
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
I have a paso.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Why is suicide illegal?
Because it destroys government property.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.