Eating jokes
Why did the rhino eat the car?
Poop.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Yo mama so sad that when Alejandra Parma died, she bought 20 Cocomelon Happy Meals from McDonald's and became fat.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.