How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike. The cat’ll eat it (the cattle eat it)

Why was the astronaut 👩‍🚀 washing her hands?

She was getting ready to eat launch 🚀🥪.

If you eat a clock then does that mean you’ve consumed time?

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair

What do you call a cow that eats grass?

a lawn mooer

Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.

Who eat sleeping? A robot.

Why doesn’t China have a cricket team?

They always eat the bat

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

Whats the difference between apples and dead babies? I don’t ejaculate on apples before i eat them

What’s worse than a dead baby?- A pile of dead babies- whats worse than that? -The one on the bottom is alive.- And whats worst than that is, the baby has to eat it’s way out

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? – They’re always eating out.

… and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

Why do French like to eat snails so much?

They can’t stand fast food.

How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, “mark, what would you like to eat?” Mark said, “I’d like some fucking potato’s.” SMACK! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, “what would you like to eat?” “Well, I’d like some fucking potatos” said suzie SMAACK! she slapped suzie. “Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?” Well… I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.

What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner? The cold shoulder

What do gay horses eat?


two lesbians adopted a cat that night the cat ran away why ?

because it heard one say i’m gonna eat that pussy

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? A: Because it will eat your “Aunts”