Eating jokes
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yull.
Yull who?
You'll be sorry if you eat all the fruitcake!
Bra eat E.T.?
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.