Eating jokes
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.