Eating jokes
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.