Eating jokes
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.