Yo’Mama’s cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out

someone eats glew and tells the other, “Sorry, cant stick around.”

What do you get when you eat a hamburger 🍔😋? Mustard gas.

What do squats eat? Numbers

What do yo get if you eat sugar. High

I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.

What type of jam can you not eat? Traffic jam

Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?

Because it was full! 🌕

How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach ?

Stop eating caterpillars

A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “You can kill me or you can eat me, but I’m tired of getting stuck for drinks.”

Why did the students eat their homework 📚?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake. 🎂😂

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian’s hahahahaha

for 15 cents a day you can feed an African child they eat spare change i guess

Why wont cannibals eat divorced women?

Just to Bitter.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? cuz there dad never came back with the milk

There once was a man from Peru.who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke up at night ,with a terrible fright,to find out his dream had come true.

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming

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