Eating jokes
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.