My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince.

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

The more people who like to eat tide pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

The reason why the “eating a tide pod” trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

Where do rabbits eat breakfast? – IHOP.

Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant

Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.

When do astronauts eat? At launch time!

two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal…Does he taste funny to you?

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said “Yes ma’am.” She said “Oh honey, you don’t have to call me ma’am, I’m not that old.” I said “Okay, thanks bitch.”

What food does a cheetah eat? Fast food

What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!

Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I eat kids

Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. the first cannibal says “you start at the bottom I start at the top” so they both chow down. about half an hour later, the second cannibal says “i’m having a ball” then than the the first cannibal says “than you’re eating too fast”

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