the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike. The cat’ll eat it (the cattle eat it)

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.

When do astronauts eat? At launch time!

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

So I heard Kenny’s mom got moved to a nursing home. He’ll probably leave her alone now. He doesn’t eat vegetables.

two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal…Does he taste funny to you?

What food does a cheetah eat? Fast food

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

why dont cannibals eat clowns

because they taste funny

Where do rabbits eat breakfast? – IHOP.

what do astronauts eat off of… a satellite dish

What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl’s house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

What do you call a cow eating grass? - A Lawn Moo-er

How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!

Whats the difference between apples and dead babies? I don’t ejaculate on apples before i eat them

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”