Eating Jokes

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person." said the other.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

To forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open Wide!!

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potato's." *SMACK*! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, "what would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatos" said suzie *SMAACK*! she slapped suzie. "Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?" Well.... I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Amber Heard’s Morning Routine

Wake Up Eat Breakfast Take a Shit Get Out of Bed

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas