Eating jokes
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”