What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Eating Jokes
Never eat more than you can lift.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
