Eating jokes
What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Yo mama so fat, when she plays Undertale, Omega Flowey's mouth isn't big enough to eat her!
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!