Eating

Eating jokes

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.

Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...

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  • A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.

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  • Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

    Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.

    Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?

    What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?

    They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

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  • What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

    I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.

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