What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
Eating Jokes
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
