Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What do you call a lanky yellow man with abnormally large ears? Zac! Hahahahahahahahahahah
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Little Johnny walked to his parents' room. They were having sex, and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was, so he said, "What are y’all doing?"
The parents replied, "Umm, r-rapping presents!"
Little Johnny said, "Okay," and then left. In the morning, Little Johnny opened his presents. His parents said, "This one is from Santa!"
Little Johnny said, "No, it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents."
The parents said, "Ohh fuck!"
Little Johnny replied, "What, Mommy and Daddy?" They replied, "Oh, nothing!" "Oh, okay," Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dad's ear, "At least he doesn’t know the truth."
Little Johnny said, "What truth?"
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail.
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.
