Dying jokes
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.