Dying jokes

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Desmend: FLY

Draco: FLY

Me: DIE

My mom died.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

Man: Die, potato!

Potato: *screams*

I like trains.

Kid: I like trains.

Man: No, wait!

Train: *kills man*

Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

Why did Lucas die?

'Cause he was old, Lucas.

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?

Because they hate their lives and want to die.

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

You die. LOL!

How do you make a plumber die?

You kill his family.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.