Dying jokes
Yo mama so fat, she died!
This is crazy! Little Johnny died!
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Is die?
Little Johnny died.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
My mom died.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.