I was driving with my parent and shouted its a super hero but i didnt know it was a emo kid
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
Today is sad my sister got hit by a car and I lost my license as a driver
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Every male is expected to pass their drivers test, Paul Walker clearly failed his
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus
are you a white van because i would love to put children in you.
Me dozing off while driving. Everyeone alse on the passanger plane September 11 2001
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
There’s Two Mexicans in a car Whose driving
A Cop
When your going 80KM in a school zone and one of the speed bumps scream.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music, and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
A man comes home and the wife says 'My ex just died by getting hit by a bus' and the husband said 'I lost my job as a bus driver'
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
