Driver jokes
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
So, there were kids in the bus, and half of them were white, and the other half was black.
All the kids wanted to sit at the back, so the bus driver said to all the kids, "Stop fighting. From now on, everyone is now green." So, the bus driver said to all the kids, "Dark green go to the front, and light green at the back."
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
All then are bad.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.