Drive jokes
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
At the drive-thru window:
"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"
"We don't serve soup here!"
"Well, I didn't order any!"
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"