Drive jokes
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
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