Drive

Drive Jokes

A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car. Lea looks at his puzzled then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?" Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..

back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb

I went out for a drive, and attempted to drift on the road, it didn't end well for me, or fo the speed bumps I hit. *wait. there isn't any road bumps* *o h s h i t.*

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

why did sally fall off the swing... she had no arms why did joe get hit by a bus... sally was driving it where did sally go during the bombing... everywhere

a mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attatched to his nutty wuttys. Its driving me nuts! A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says problem??

"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."

Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher informatio-

Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their teachers to a conference. ORPHANS!

Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!

Garen: Hey why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animale shelter.

Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw there parents in a diffrent race!

Students: No that's not funny!

Student: SHUT UP!

What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.

It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"