DoS

DoS jokes

Baby

How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

Memes

Michael Jackson

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

Waste Of Time

Girl: How much do you love me?

Me: Count the stars in the sky.

Girl: Aww, it's infinite!

Me: No, just a waste of time.

Woman

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have balls.

Mistake

Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?

Suicide

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

Key

What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.

Horse

Why do horses eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

Africa

How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?

Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."

Minor

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Fruit

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"