DoS jokes
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Memes
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.