What do bees đ brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An Orphan
Girl: how much do you love me Me: count the stars in the sky Girl awww itâs infinite Me no just a waste of time
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear
White vans
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you get when you have a annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree? You untie the rope.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
I was gonna do a school shooter joke but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up? Me: Oh I wan- Therapist: Donât say to be dead Me: Well I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to sell land, pencils oh yeah. I also want to sell farm
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? -- The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
